How do we live life?

When I look back, I had taken a lot of decisions, some are good and some are bad.

But sometimes if I think about it, I could see that I have not made any decisions but things fall into place and I seem to accept them.

Why do I accept whatever I get in life (be it school, college, grades, pocket money & friends)?

A little story about my childhood will explain. I lived most of my life in hostels (from kinder garden to PG), that too about 7 different hostels. The hostel life kept me prepared for most extreme situations in life, be it late night travel in train without reservation or carrying excess luggage when vacating hostel, most importantly dealing with people.

My idea of present having more importance than past no matter how good or bad it is has helped me adapting to new environment easily, accepting things and people the way they are.

Sometimes I'm more possessive about something which eventually fired back, now I realize that more possessive you are, not only you are hurting yourself but everyone around.

Anyways we (I) live life by either by "choice" or "circumstance". But choice leads to confusion and circumstances lead to dissatisfaction, in other words we (I) live life either in "confusion" or "dissatisfaction".

Why so?

Life can be looked upon in two ways (good ways to live, forget about lot of other "ways", that may give you an impression of living, believe me it's not)

1. Everything is important in life, we can control or take care (or at least try to) of anything
   
2. Everything is beyond our control, accepting things or people the way they are is the only thing that we can do
   

I do get confused, by which way I am living my life, I can say 50-50 (very very tasty tasty) , being "confident & not complaining" is the first way of life and being "mature & accepting" is the second way of life

Confidence we all know about it, has been taught to us in different ways and most of us seem to have it, at-least for some amount of time in life, the same can't be said about maturity, it can't be taught but should be understood and cultivated.

Let us understand what is maturity?

Sagar said, "the understanding of what the fuck I am doing & what the fuck others are doing and how it affects each other", I am perfectly fine with his point, but at the same time "understanding" of things, the way they happen is the first step in maturity, I'd like to take an example, if I ask "whom do you think are the most matured people?", most likely your answer would be a grandfather or a grandmother you know, why?

The reason is, they are the one who have seen many ups and downs in life, and they have no more of expectations from any damn person in this world.

If we ask them their suggestions about our life, they'll answer it in a committed manner as it's their life, why they don't differentiate people as them, I & we.

It simply means that "not only the understanding, but accepting everyone in this world by the way they are" is maturity.

Why accepting?

Accepting in the sense, no expectations for the help/life that we are going to do/live, giving importance to others problem as our problem and finally the "unconditional love", it's very difficult to find a grandma who discriminates her grandchildren and other kids (kids in the sense all those who are a even bit younger than them), also a grandpa who cares about your education, work and life, offering his simple but useful insight for almost all the problems that we face.

That grandpa and grandma don't expect anything from us, other than talking to them, they are not to be left alone in their elder age, it you don't take care of your parents, and then you are a sinner.

This shows how difficult it is being mature, it takes a lot of time to understand and settle down and that's why only old people are considered mature.

Now comes the question to myself "how are you going to live?"

Good question, I am trying to keep it 50-50 till I become old enough to change it to 0-100

Quote of the day:- after I felt so crazy about writing this blog it suddenly occurred to me, usual disclaimers apply, I may have read it somewhere at some point in life and I may be simply recalling it, in that case due credit to whoever has written this.

"No matter how crazy you think you are, there are crazier people out there, if you think people are crazy, you are crazier than them"

Innofest' 07

Ya, i know it's odd to post about an event that happened 4 months before (to be exact march 23, 24 of 2007) but if i don't speak about this now chances are that, no one will speak about this(from first person view at-least).

Ok...

Innofest, 07
Redefining Innovation

it all begins with an E-Cell meeting, where "mama" , "chotta" & "shasank" were fiercely opposing "bulb's" idea of conducting something "big" in campus, like a B-Plan competition, mama's argument was if a technical institute like ours doesn't have an techinical event then why the hell we should have an management event.
Asusual i was sitting in that room, not as a E-Cell member but doing some 'reddit'ting and 'orkut'ting, the meeting ended when no one had the energy to shout more, mama came to me and asked "should we have a technical event?", a landmark question that changed our life for next few weeks.

I had barely spoken to him before, i was happy with my own work and group but that was an opportunity for me getting closer to mirindastic(read fantastic, we don't like fanta) group, the most feared and kept away group by most commoners in the institute due to their love and affection towards "loud & strong language" also the unity among them when it comes to kicking or getting kicked in birthdays.

After initial mails to groups(janitors & sanitors, ha ha ha, Sagar i am sorry, that 'j' & 's' words popped in my mind yesterday night while going for dinner, an institute slang for Juniors & seniors) the initial response was non-committal encouragement, sagar was the only person to reply "we are a bunch of techies, & we can do it".(and he did it, more comes below)
in the mean time i volunteered for Magazine team(and not even a single meeting or contribution from my side), i became Intranet admin, took 5 subjects instead of four (this calls for another post) and started to enjoy life. after some initial mumbo jumbo mails, nothing really happened.

The time for organizing "spandan" came and people are very much interested in utilizing this opportunity to "go home", Imanpreet called for a meeting of all teams and asked "should we extend this as an inter event instead of current intra one?", that one question he asked and did some initial moves of talking with registrar etc (when he claimed credit for the event, people were angry at him, but guyz we should accept it, even though we started and did all the work, the networking of people from various teams was "at-least" initiated by him) .

The team was formed and we met Professor SS (one more post pending for him), and he was so happy that students are taking off their time to do something that is good for the institute and enhancing their organizing and inter-personal skills, and he happily said "NO", the reason that he gave was "you people have unreasonable expectation and you are not capable of doing an event where a lot of bad can happen along with the good, blah blah blah.."(sir, how did you get this too much power of convincing people to your way without them feeling hurt?)

And, we raised our voice, (if two counts for we, then its mama & me) again blah blah blah, ok, a "48" hour deadline to prepare a business plan that'll convince him to say go ahead, with a disclaimer "none of you can claim any discount in studies, no on-duty stuff, sir i went for this, i did this... kind of stuff".

at the end of 48 hours(all the dramas by our fellow mates, God, thank you for this opportunity to judge people), we were in his room with a business plan.

some silence, some questions and some answers (since i was the typesetter of the plan, i was obliged to answer the questions), he said "OK, looks promising, go ahead, but in very small manner. only bangalore colleges, quick and fast two day event, don't worry about finance institute will arrange for it, remember bad news propagates faster so whether you are doing good or not, don't bring bad name to institute",a weekly review and report was promised and we are on our way to create the first ever inter event of the institute.

Here come our struggle for next 30days, the bashing from my mom for not coming home for 3 months, screwed up 3 of 5 subjects, none of the projects are actually progressing, the fighting with mama over poster design (whenever he said "everybody liked it", I'd say "nobody will like it"), website downtime, campaigning planning, last minute postponement due to "Iron maiden" concert, brochures, flyer's, placement of logos, t-shirts, sitting with vijay for Quiz questions, bugging seema for any damn thing, begging for laptops to our classmates blah blah blah...

And its tomorrow, the event , prof SS said that he'll be there at 7.45 to wake up students if they are not seen in campus.

Cricket match screening, damn India lost the match

now the timeline starts:
10.00pm : WTF!!, where are the registration forms, ID cards, volunteer badges, ok relax, Ducky will take care(print out) of it tomorrow morning as his first job.

11.00pm:
me: what are you doing?,
them: indicators you know which room which event etc...
me: if you girls don't have any work please go sleep, cant we take a print out of them and put it. (now i know why i don't/won't have a girlfriend, kidding...)

12:00midnight
what wastefellow, two events are overlapping, aargh, mama, wait i am coming,
finally the schedule was reorganized so "only two events overlap".

01:00am
guru, started to arrange tables and chairs
someone: we can ask the housekeeping people to do it in morning
me:(go kick yourself, in mind of course)see they'll come around 7.30 and prof will be here by 7.45, i don't want to feel the heat.

03.30am:
fuck!, i need a double coffee
someone: infy will be open
me: if we go there it'll take an hour, so forget about it, get back to work.

05:00am Sagar cant walk properly, duck was okay, i was some how managing to keep myself awake, seema and others were doing the welcome ppt and schedule information.

06:00am: Sagar, "traitor" went to sleep, that effectively leaves me & Ducky in college.

06:30am:Ducky is going to sleep, fuck!!, ok the the most important thing to do in the morning is "get the event banners, fuck how can we forget about them", Ducky said, relax i'll make sure that the banner will be "up" and "flying" before the event begins.

07:00am: begging with some more seniors for their laptops, Ducky is a psychologist, knows how to talk to people.

07:30am: bathing, dont see the bed, dont see the bed, there is no bed in your room, all you can see is the bathroom and toilet, ok relax take the towel out of your room now run to take bath ...

07:45am: Wah, i am back to work, started calling seema, Mama, Ducky & sagar, everyone should be present before profes...,here he is, he did as he said went to hostel to wake up people(its embarassing you know).

08:00am: "where are the banners, guys?", aha, the inevitable question that'll occur to any damn person coming to the place where the event is scheduled, "Ducky"..i shouted, "it'll be here any moment..don't worry" was the reply.

the printer guy said "no power, no printouts", again prof came to our rescue, he gave his printer to take printout of about 500 pages.

and you know the real excitement ends here, as things start to roll, more people came in to help us, the usual thank you list goes this way

Laptop team, guyz you are the heart of the event, any little mistake from your side would have toppled the event

Guru, KP & others, u guyz rock, thanks for eveything, every minute you spent your energy is worth a million rupees (but dont ask me for it)

sumeet for his amazing website building skills

all our classmates, most people gave their laptops, few people went home, few people didn't mind to see what is happening in the institute, anyways thanks

there are few names deliberately left out, not because i don't want to thank you, but i don't want to just "say" thanks and finish it off, I'll be thankful to you all for my life, you gave me the hope that "we can do it" and "we are doing it" in this semester too.

thanks for everything (somebody help me!!!)

Day 1 of event: 10.00pm this is what will happen if you don't sleep for 40 hours straight

and JC gave a treat, "you did it", a nice person who acknowledged our struggle and effort, she was happy that we did it something that their class didn't bother to do it.(aha i can still feel the taste of that lassi & mirchi soda)

Happy birthday to me!, I am 23 years old

Wah, what a fantastic day today(Actually July 1st, never mind continue reading) is my birthday, thank god I am able to walk (are you still wondering?)

Birthday’s during college times are both an exciting and most feared occasion of every damn person, the understanding is

"have few enemies, but very few friends"

at the end of every birthday you’ll wonder, whom you should fear most, your enemies or your friends.

let me show you how i "enjoyed", step by step.

1. It begins as "all that begins well" kind of a story

2. next they'll make you feel comfortable 3. then they'll show their love and affection

4. then they'll fire at you

Ahhaaaaaaa

Do they(we) know the meaning of "Mercy"

5. Holy dip in college pond (Imagine freezing cold, and scented water)


6. I know i am a good dancer, but i never thought that i could be a "pole dancer"
7. A cake, Ahaa.. i was always successful in garbing the biggest piece in everyones birthday, i decided to do that in my birthday too, the result ...

Ya i did get the largest portion of the cake, but unfortunately it didn't go to my stomach, but all my cells on my face skin got to eat a bit of that chocolate cake.



here comes the conclusion,
how many people called me to wish happy birthday, 2 missed calls in morning during breakfast time, my parents called me after two days and i had to remind them that i am 23 yrs old now, 2 sms's and 4 orkut scraps marked the end of my celebration, aha who cares, i celebrated my birthday after 6years.
why so, first things first, my birthday falls on July 1, so i'll be mostly in home (grandfather's) and no body had the guts to shout there after or before 6'0 clock (am & pm), there birthday is just another day.
also I am completely against materialistic pleasure way of life, i believe that in life we have much more to do rather than wasting time & money in the name of birthday celebration, same philosophy made be agree to these celebrations, if my dancing around the pole can make my friends happy, for the sake of their happiness i can do that once a year, after all, these are the people whom i am put up with both in good times and difficult times.
Pranav & Vijay's gift was my "first" ever birthday gift, thanks to them(again completely against my philosophy of saying thanks to friends, it shouldn't be in words but should be in action).
now i have few questions to ask myself:

• why the hell i am not caring about gifts and wishes? in the sense, i was not able express my surprise when Pranav & vijay gave me "the surprise", also i dont mind people not wishing me, no matter how close they are. only God Knows, the answer.
• how i spent my previous year? good/bad/ugly? i'd say it was good, bad as well as ugly. Good in the sense "Innofest" i did my best to make it happen, bad because i flunked all my projects including my favorite OS project , ugly in the sense i realized that i was not paying attention to people, i refused to accept people the way they are, but this realization has helped me in throwing away my dislike towards certain people, i stopped judging people, my expectations about people has come down and moreover i am ready to face the consequence of being good and honest.
• how i am going to spend my next year?, well, good i suppose, do a lot of work (curricular i suppose, i always excel in extra/co/non curricular stuff), give good tutorials and tests to juniors, don't flunk the subjects, dont try to download "all" possible Linux distributions, C/Java/Python master them, try to blog as much as possible.
  

Summer of 07

I have decided to blog about interesting people I come across in my life, it starts with my summer course faculty.

Prof Shridar:

Imagine a 60yr old man, wise man I should say, with a humor that'll make we youngsters envy him.

Prof shridar is someone whom I would accept as a role model for my life, a man of good manners and sense of humor.

His way of explaining a stupid subject like "Accounting" is simply awesome, and the story of his two wives (please read the rest…) one sales tax and the other is service tax, how we should not deal with one and think about other.

To mention his timing of explanation of concepts

He: What will you call a person whom talks to himself…?

We: he he he…

He: that's what the Government thinks of a person who tries to sell to himself in the name of "branch transfer".

Good/Bad/Ugly whatever it is, sir I envy you, I respect you & to be honest you rekindled the fire inside me which wanted to become a CA when I was young.

Prof Padmini Srinivasan:

Mam, now I know why an IIM Grad is worth the salary he/she gets, I am also happy to the amount of screwing they'll go through in the process of "learning" accounting.

Prof Hema:

Women whom I meet nowadays (Prof JB, Prof Uma Maheswari, Prof Padmini, Prof Hema) has changed my perception about women which I had from my school days. These are the ladies who are knowledgeable, humble, modest and kind to people (to students at-least let's say), again Prof Hema has inspired me to work towards becoming a CA (sounds wired to be said my an M.Tech IT student).

Prof Krishnamurthy

Prof shridar in another form, unfortunately he came for only one class, damn I have a very poor memory how the hell I can forget his jokes (I should sleep less in class)

Prof Shankar

I am really scared to work for "any" company after his lecture, it simply said "you can be fired regardless whether you obey/work properly or not"

I want to commit suicide

Funny, Huh…

But it is not funny, I sometimes think about my life and how I have lived it. Ha ha ha… got you ..

Let it go, my trusted astrologer has said that I am going to live till 95years of age, so I don't want to waste time in thinking about committing suicide.

Now that I had taken up so many responsibilities I am not able to pursue my favorite pastime (u know, regulars)

You may wonder about what work I am doing. Let me list them

• An event for a Big Company (thankless volunteer)
  
• Teaching Assistant, I have to work hard so not only juniors but also me learn the subject, the most important thing is "I don't want to act like suk-la"
  
• Advanced OS, Prof SN has said that weekly tests are going to his evaluation methodology, the good thing is "I want to study Operating Systems", the dialog I said in my MTech interview will come true.
  
• KK, the never ending ocean of maths
  
• MFC, iiitbians know about it.
  

After a long time I am feeling at home, work is chasing me and I am chasing people to work, if the Event that we are organizing becomes a hit then I can, what to say, establish a confidence in myself.